capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
