Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
They took my balls.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
