AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
