Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
