Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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