So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
