Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
