I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
