I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
