Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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