Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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