I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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