I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
