Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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