dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
