I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
