If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
