I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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