why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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