I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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