Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
