i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
