Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
