what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
