hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I cockslap morals
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
