i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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