I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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