Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
