she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
