I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
