You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
someone get that fucking seahorse.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Randomize
