You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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