From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
