I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
