12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Houston, we have a squirter
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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