Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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