I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
