so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
