id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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