I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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