that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
