I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
