I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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