how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
