finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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