He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
