Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
