my vag is so smooth its legendary
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
