I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
sarcasm needs its own font
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
