No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
