just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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